Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
