Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
