Your mouth is God's brothel.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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