saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
