Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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