True but thats because hes a fetus.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
