ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
