you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
