its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
