i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
