She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hippo gnu deer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
