That's intense
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
