Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
