Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
