My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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