everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
