I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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