so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
