remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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