I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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