he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
well most of my day revolves around power hour
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
