Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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