can u get pink eye on your cock?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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