I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
