I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
