He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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