Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
