This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
