If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
