found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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