there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
