I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
