I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
