Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
