I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
