My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
