So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
