OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
