Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
