rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
