We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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