Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
