i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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