I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
