I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
