i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize