You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
