Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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