how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
