So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
