So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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